QUOTES

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.


If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!


Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



show the world you creativity. post your own texts in the comment section. And let the world hear you

FUNNY

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...
...searching...searching...still searching...
...sorry NO BRAIN found


How a man impresses a woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How a woman impresses a man: Show up naked with beer.


If asked to choose between two evils: "money" and "women"
choose the lesser evil "money"
even though it will attract the greater evil


Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart
is through his stomach is aiming just a bit too high.


Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked to
but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!!


A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone


Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.


A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!


Beer is proof that God loves us
and wants us to be happy.


I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby.
Now that you're a grownup,
I have one question..... What happened?


Love is a name, Sex is a game.
Forget the name and lets play that game!


You think I'm nice, I think you're nice.
You think I'm kind, I think you're kind.
You think I can be trusted, I think you can.
You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.


Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.


FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching...
...still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.


A man commented to his lunch companion:
"My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire."
"You're lucky," sighed the companion.
"My wife dreams that in the daytime."


Press down..More...Ok more...WOW yes ahh ohh yes....almost there....oh god harder..faster..FEELS GOOD...oh goddd!...That's how I sex on text!


I went to ur house justnow -
can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* -
pls take sign down next time ok!


If I were to make a dictionary:
CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you;
GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!


When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck,
When a girl is sixteen she's ready to ..WOOPS...wrong number....


plz try 2 understand n dont disturb me more.
Leave me alone!
Last night i did not sleep thinking of you.
So dont play with my life.
Jane says 2 mosquito


This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful.
We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.
We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.


At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping,
2.3 million are falling in love,
4.1 million are eating
and only 1 fool in the whole world is reading this text.


Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.'
Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'


Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me c**k, da clock struck 2, i dumped me goo, & dropped her at da end of da block.


When somebody who's deeply in love with you
tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic,
I agree.
That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!


Someday you may lose your hair, your money and even lose your mind.
But one thing you will never lose - your good looks,
coz you can never lose what you don't have!


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!


My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.


I'm afraid to die
not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen,
but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.


What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!


Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?


U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...
U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body
....sh*t...I got wrong number...SORRY


If you are alone, I'll be your shadow.
If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.
If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile.
If you need money, wait for your salary.


Playboy, speaking to a girl:
"I want you to know that I value our relationship very much.
In fact, I find you as my most favorite girlfriend."


Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin
'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again later.'


Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"
Boss asks: "How sick are u?"
Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"


On the cellphone pad of life,
always keep one finger on the disconnect key.


Always Remember
Money isnt everything!
But make sure you have made enough of it before talking such nonsense
-Bill Gates-


Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect
who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous.
They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects.
Where do you think I should hide?


What do you do when you see an extremely cute person?
I stare at the person and smile,
but when I get tired, I just put the mirror down.

FRIENDS

Sorry to disturb U
my friend is on a long trip..he nids a place 2 stay
I directed him 2 u
pls accomodate him & show him love
His name is Jesus
Hope he has arrived in ur life??


When situation gets you down,
remember there's Someone in Heaven
who loves you and watches over you
and there's someone on Earth who cares… I do.


U're 2 blessed 2 b stressed
2 loaded 2 be folded
2 pretty 2 b pitied
2 required 2 b fired
infact, U're 2 sweet..
Stay cool


A day may start or end without a message from me,
but believe me
it won't start or end without me thinking of you..
See! I just did.
Take care


welcome 2 sweet dreams airline
all passengers on bed be ready
as the flight will be leaving in few minutes to dreamland...
just want 2 say gud nite and sleep tite..!!!


To be disturbed by the beep of your phone
only means that somehow, somewhere, somebody
is thinking of you
and at this very moment, that's me.
Take care always.


just want to say hi and thank you for being a wonderful friend
you are one of a kind


A little music can make one dance
a little hug can make one happy
a little kindness can save a soul
I hope a little "HI" from me can make u smile dis nite
Luvly nite


In life, theres a place called there
when u get there; doors open, d sun shines,
joy fills ur heart and heaven showers u with is blessing
U'll get there dis month


may the world dress U up in its beauty
with luvly flowers, clear blue skies
and carpets of green grass
cos its a new day and everything about it should be beautiful
Gud morning


To hear somone tell you "good morning" only means that
'somehow"
"somewhere'
"somebody" is thinking of you
and at this moment you should be glad
you have someone somewhere who wishes you well.
Have a wonderful day ahead

LOVE AND ROMANCE

Words begin with ABC.
Numbers begin with 123.
Music begins with do, re, mi.
And Love begins with you and me!


I love you! If you hate me, shoot me with an arrow,
but please not on the heart
coz that's were you are!


I will walk with you side by side for only one condition:
hide your wings every time we walk together
because the whole world might know that you're my angel!


I painted your picture in my heart
and each passing day
the picture looks more beautiful
Goodnight my angel


If I had the letters "HRT",
I can add "EA" to get a "HEART"
or a "U" and get "HURT".
But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U".


A person you love is an extension of yourself.
Without it, you're not complete
so better take care of yourself
because I don't want to lose a part of me.


There is a beautiful street in my heart
called memory lane
where thoughts of lovely people like you reside


The only regret I have
is not knowing you since the day I was born
so that I will be able to spend my ENTIRE life with you


Uve won my luv now I luv u.
This heart of mine I give 2 u.
So keep it safe as i have done.
For u have 2 and i have none


I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on,
my ears to listen to, my hand for you to hold,
my feet to walk with you,
but I can't lend you my heart
coz it already belongs to you.


Whatever you do, I'll walk with you.
Hoping that your every dream would come true.
Anytime, anywhere, I'll always be there.
Wishing you love and happiness because I care.


I believe that God above created u for me to luv.
he picked you out from all the rest
cos he knew i'd luv you the best!


There are 12 months in a year...
30 days in a month...
7 days a week...
24 hours in a day...
60 minutes in an hour...
but only ONE u in a life time.


If you wake up 1 day & were asked to have a wish,
what would it be?
Mine would be that our love would last
until you see an apple in an orange tree


sum pix are kept in albums
others in the heart
those in albums are often remembered when seen
those in the heart are never forgotten
as long as the heart beats
you can never be forgotten


I love 3 things!
The sun, the moon and U!
The sun for the day,
the moon for the night
and you forever


Love can be expressed in many ways.
One way I know is to send it across the distance
to the person who is reading this.


You give me joy, you give me hope.
You give me energy, which helps me cope.
I love you darling, more than you love the Pope!


A day may start or end without a message from me,
but believe me it won't start or end without me thinking of you..
See! I just did. Take care


I admit I'll never be the perfect friend.
I'll never be there always.
I may not make u smile at times
but there is one thing I admit I could do.
To be the Love I could be for you.


When the night comes, look at the sky.
If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish.
Trust me, it will come true,
because I did it and I found you


A special smile
A special face.
A special someone i can't replace.
I love u, i always will.
u fill a space no one can fill!Last night


I matched each star with a reason for loving you.
I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

I have liked many
Loved very few.
yet no-one has been as sweet as u.
I'd stand & wait in the worlds longest queue,
just for the pleasure of a moment with u.


Love is something special, a treasure I want to find...
To others, love is blind but for me, its not true,
coz when I fell in love...I saw you.


Accidents do happen...i slip- i trip- i stumble- i fall
& usually i dont care at all.
but now i dont know what to do
cos i slipped and fell in love with u


Darling, the more I think of you, the more I miss you.
The more I miss you, the more I think of you.
I love you


I asked God for a rose and He gave me a garden.
I asked God for a drop of water and He gave me an ocean.
I asked God for an angel and He gave me you!
Isn't He wonderful??


Thot of u 2day,dats not new,
thot of u yesterday + d day b4 2,
i'll think of u 2moro + my whole life thru
& i'll think of u 4eva
coz i think da world of U


Set a place for me in your heart and not in your mind
for the mind easily forgets
but the heart always remembers. I love you


My heart for you will never break.
My smile for you will never fade.
My love for you will never end.
I love you!

To forget you is hard to do
and to forget me is up to you.
Forget me not, forget me never.
Forget this text, but not the sender.


I wish one day you will miss me terribly
that no matter how hard you look for me, you won't find me.
Why?
Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm missing you right now.


Sending you my bed to let you rest,
pillows to give you comfort
and my blanket to keep you warm.
I can't sleep now coz' I've lent you all my things already.
Goodnight! I love you.


8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you


To the world, you may be one person.
But to me, you are the world!


What's the difference between pleasure and torture?
Pleasure is thinking of you
and torture is thinking of you too much.

RELIGIOUS AND PRAYERS

An ordinary stone from david had an extra-ordinary effect on goliath
May the ordinary things you do bring extra-ordinary results in your life


Let the journey of your destiny
be a journey with God
One thing you must do is to hear and fear God
that way, you can follow his plan and map for your life
enjoy his abundant grace


As d sky breaks into a beautiful dawn,
may God open the windows of heaven
to shower you with lots of love and happiness
To make your day a nice one

U are 2 blessed 2 be stressed
2 loaded to be folded
2 required to be fired
2 favoured 2 be pited
infact,God is with u


May heaven respect ur knees when u bow em in prayers,
recognize ur voice when u lift em in praise
may ur days be long in the land of the living
takia


b4 d year runs out d lord will do something unusual in ur life
but U should try to run away frm every obstacle
dat can delay u from getting to the top
Stay blessed


ku ku ru kuuu!!!
its morning, wake up lets pray
"thank u Jesus 4 2day let us c more days 2 come (amen) "
gud morning,,ow was ur nite?


may the world dress U up in its beauty
with luvly flowers, clear bllue skies and carpets of green grass
cos its a new day and everything about it should be beautiful
Gud morning